Don’t let me down, Apple: iOS 7 on the iPad 2

My iPad is scarcely two and a half years old, but in the last month or so, it’s started to show signs of senility. I could peck out maybe 20 letters on the keyboard before the device realized I was typing, Safari crashed at the merest whiff of a GIF, and there were some YouTube videos it wouldn’t react to at all, instead opting to stare me dumbly in the face with a loading pinwheel. Naturally, it was time to throw a whole new operating system at it.